Monday, March 1, 2010

cool runnings.

It has been a WHILE since my last post.
Fortunately today I am locked out of my apartment for the next hour...
and the only keys i have are to my office.
Which coincidentally has a computer.
which i am currently using to write to you blogsters.

It is a big day!
The first day of march.
The end of the olympics.
Hopefully the beginning of spring.

most importantly I am turning 21 in eleven days.
Going to Destin Florida on my first real roadtrip...
annnd quite possibly doing a weekend trip to vegas with Spence,
to show him what he's missing.

on a side note...
I REALLY WANT TO WATCH COOL RUNNINGS.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

starting over.



I havent posted in such a long time.
So much has happened between now and the last time i wrote to you.
For starters...
I saw at least two of the aforementioned movies...Where the Wild Things Are, and Whip IT.
I recommend the latter, as Wild Things was a bit depressing to me. I mean, if i was a little kid i would have either not gotten it at all, or been so sad about it, that i'd cry. i cant decide.

but Whip it was so awesome. I just recently acquired a projector, so we had movie night at our apt. and it was, to say the least, an amazing movie. Ellen Page plays such a different, reserved, and quiet character at first. I loved it.
I love Babe Ruthless!

Moving on...

in more recent news, i decided that moving home was the best thing i could have ever done.

I have become more responsible, as well as more mature. I also have realized what is important to me in life.

California, although a magnet for midwesterners feeling out of place, is not all its cracked up to be.
Just because its always sunny there, doesn't mean everyone who lives there has a personality to match.
In fact, i found that a good number of the people that live there that are natives to the big CA are actually extremely superficial. and rude. I never really met anyone that was genuinely nice to me. people seem to only want to know what they are going to get out of a situation.

Although i spent ten months of my life in CA, i decided it wasnt a complete and total waste of my time. I learned SO much from this experience that i wouldnt trade it for the world. I learned what is importnt in life. That having a 'cool' job at the cost of your happiness, is not the right thing to do. I am glad i figured it out as soon as i did. I needed time to still be a kid, and not have so much pressure put on me to be the same plastic barbie doll as every other girl on the west coast.

I find it funny, that since i've moved home, every single girl i've talked to dreams of moving to CA after they graduate from college. They all think that the grass really is greener on the other side,

Boy are they in for a surprise...

Sunday, August 30, 2009

diary of a mad hatter.

So i dont know if I am crazy or not yet.
I am either doing the best thing i could ever do, or im making the biggest mistake i've ever made.
Either way you lay it down, big change is happening in my life right now.
There will be no regrets for me. I need to take a deep breath and just realize that these are the choices i have made and i have to live with the consequences and outcomes.
All of my time will be used wisely, no matter what state i live in. whether it be indiana or california...or nebraska for the love of pete.
I will use my time in indiana to reflect on my life and really figure out what it is that i want for myself.
I need to also finish writing my book, and just get it done. Lay it out and make story boards and really be able to see where its going.
Spence and I are also going to write childrens books.
we have to finish at least one by october. that was our personal goal. so i am sticking to it.
I really hope that spencer and i can make it through these tough times.
I am not soley moving home for him, but i think he is a big part of it.
I am just being honest with myself and others around me when i say that i really do love him and i would move across thousands of miles for him, but you all have to know that i really do have a lot of motivation to do what i say am going to do, and finish school, as well as book while i am at home.
Max time that i want to spend in indiana is 1 year. that is IT.
I need to get out of there. I just cant be stuck. I cannot plant roots and get comfortable. I need to stay focused and have attainable goals.
I just have this feeling that i will be successful, and that schoool doesnt necessarily have to be a factor in that. I am smart, and i have opportunity knocking at my door, i just need to take advantage of it.
I thnk that cooming home to indiana will help me to see things in a different light, from a different perspective.
It will be a breath of fresh air for me, and help me to get focused on what i really want in life, and how i am going to get there.

Monday, August 3, 2009

worry.

i dont know why i am worried. but sadly i am.
i cant get you out of my head. so take it as a compliment that i think of you so much.
soon you will be out here.
and everything will be fine.
and we will be together.
i just have to keep telling myself this. and everything will be okay.
i cant wait to come to bloomington and see your new apartment...
even if it is what i am dreading right now..you...moving into your own apartment scares me.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
i need to get out all of my frustrations...
because you will actually be here in 11 days.
<3